Better schedule your Botox treatment soon, because we are currently the center of reality television’s often cringe-worthy, always entertaining universe. In light of a few recent shows with local ties—A&E’s Lachey’s Bar, documenting Nick and Drew’s new OTR bro-and-cougar hangout; MSNBC’s Lockup: Cincinnati, chronicling life in the Hamilton County Justice Center; and A&E’s Neighbors with Benefits, partying with the swingers of Morrow—we took a stab at predicting our next round of reality stars. This is what happens when Cincinnatians stop being polite and start getting real.
1. Real Housewives of Kenwood
Perusing Nordstrom and day-drinking at the Cheesecake Factory! An inside look at the middle-aged glitterati of Kenwood Towne Centre.
2. Project Highway
Sixteen city planners design show-stopping strips of I-75 devoid of traffic and construction. No one wins and the show lasts forever.
3. The Ultimate Cornhole Champion
The search for Cincinnati’s next great beanbag-tossing athlete. It’s all in the wrist.
4. Who Wants to Copy Edit the Enquirer?
A not-so-rigorous test to see who is worthy of landing a job they will soon have to re-apply for.
Illustrations by Danny Hellman
Originally published in the May 2015 issue.