Image by Carlie Burton
I wrote one of those lengthy “reaching out” letters to my father for Father’s Day, hoping it might help close the chasm. Perhaps you’ve tried something like that. My letter was written in 1995 as I approached middle age and my dad was officially elderly.
I didn’t send it, though. I kept working on it instead—perfecting the message, adding and subtracting, delaying. Maybe next Father’s Day. Or the next. Before I could bring myself to send anything at all, my father died.
Now, on the letter’s 30th anniversary, I am sending it to you. Don’t feel obligated to write back. I just want this thing to be seen after all the time I put into it, even though it looks glaringly self-indulgent to me now. It’s more clever than earnest, but that’s my brand, isn’t it?
What I wrote only scratches the surface of truly reaching out to my dad and opening up. It’s also very dated, being from the 1990s. Anyway, here it is. See what you think.
Dear Dad: We’ve cleared away much of our baggage. I’ve forgiven your crimes against our family, and you’ve accepted the decade when my back was turned on you. But there remains one serious issue I want to fix while there’s time. It’s never stopped bothering me. So Dad, please, I beg you to accept—to appreciate and to even enjoy—rock and roll.
We both love music to our core. The music I heard in our house as a kid (the big bands, Broadway shows, classical, and what’s called the Great American Songbook), I love that stuff as much as you do. But you completely reject the music of my generation. Despite my success as a rock ambassador on Cincinnati’s No. 1 rock station (WEBN has been at or near the top for a decade!), you’ve never given this music—my music—a chance. Here’s your opportunity.
I’ve enclosed a homemade compact disc containing a sampling of songs from rock history (woefully incomplete, but a start). Put it in your player and follow along with this personalized guide. Play loud!
- “Whole Lotta Love” by Led Zeppelin. I’m tossing you right into the deep end. This song has everything you hate: an endlessly repetitive guitar riff, throwaway lyrics, literal noise in the middle section, and shouting masquerading as singing. Truth be told, I don’t really expect you to understand or accept this kind of rock. Just know that Led Zeppelin is—was—one of the most popular bands in the world. Trust me when I say that few people on Earth have what it takes to play this music well, and these guys had it. Another Led Zeppelin song is widely regarded as rock’s finest eight minutes, but I chose this one to allow time for other stuff. As you’re pulling out your hearing aids, stay with me. It gets easier.
- “Good Vibrations” by The Beach Boys. This band was originally a bunch of gawky teenaged brothers and friends who lucked into some hit records about surfing. Only four years later, they came up with what many people, including me, consider to be the greatest pop single ever. Sometimes it’s called “influential,” even though nothing since has ever sounded like it. I think what people really mean is that songs like these in the mid-1960s sent a signal that all bets were off; anything imaginable could be a hit. The Beatles get all the credit for that, but many others were breaking boundaries first.
- “Twist and Shout” by The Beatles. Choosing only one Beatles song wasn’t easy. I’ve skipped over the “mature” Beatles (even though you’d probably like some of their later songs) and instead want to introduce you to a kick-ass rock and roll band recording their first album in one day. After the guys had marched through a bunch of material, John Lennon’s voice was tired. He wanted to come back in the morning for this last song, but with no fame or clout he had no choice but to step up and give it everything he had. This is a live take with all four guys performing. You’ll hear John’s voice disintegrate at the end. And this simple shoutfest remains one of the most popular Beatles recordings ever. This, Dad, is why I love rock and roll. It tears every limit to shreds for no other reason than because limits exist. This approach in music has, I admit, tempted many of my generation to behave the same way in our real lives, and some of us have made quite a mess. Is music like this really to blame? We’ll discuss later.
- “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen. The perfect song for the busy person who has just six minutes to review every musical style in Western Civilization. Enjoy some excellent musicianship, melodies, harmonies, and surprises. And remember that my generation can take or leave obtuse lyrics, so just let these slide. This song, by the way, made the Billboard charts twice, 12 years apart. [Editor’s note: And a third time in 2018.]
- “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’” by Michael Jackson. The arranger and co-producer of this song was Quincy Jones, who oversaw absolute perfection with Count Basie’s band in 1964 for one of your favorite records, “Fly Me to the Moon” by Frank Sinatra (what a horn section!). Eighteen years later he conjured perfection again for Michael Jackson (what a horn section!). How could Jones create such conflicting perfections, Dad? Simply by opening his heart to the joy of any kind of music. It can be done!
- “Jailhouse Rock” by Elvis Presley. Your peers often tell my peers that if Sinatra’s records are still selling after 50 years, that’s proof of something special in them. Well, touché: Elvis has outsold Frank for almost as long. Elvis really was something special, especially in his first burst. Also notice that these lyrics are great: punchy, clever, and, like the whole feel of this recording, fun. That’s the only meaningful metric.
- “Subterranean Homesick Blues” by Bob Dylan. Even you must know about Bob Dylan’s lurch from folk music to rock in the mid-1960s. This song was its birth cry. And even you will notice that you’ve heard some of these lines and phrases in the wider world. Dylan is an artist who does deserve to be called “influential.” You will absolutely loathe his voice.
- “We Didn’t Start the Fire” by Billy Joel. You missed your chance! If you had noticed this song when it came out in 1989, you could have bragged to young people that you understood more of these lyrics than they did!
- “Enter Sandman” by Metallica. I used to feel neutral about Metallica, but then they came to Cincinnati for a concert, and I felt obligated as a WEBN DJ to go. They completely blew me away; they’re a stellar quartet of musicians. This song is from their fifth album, which made longtime fans bemoan the “softening” of their sound. Keep this in mind as you listen; you will laugh out loud.
- “Dance to the Music (Medley at Woodstock)” by Sly and the Family Stone. I’ve been to many rock concerts (DJs get lots of free tickets!), and I’m often asked if I have a favorite one. People are surprised when I unhesitatingly name Sly and the Family Stone. What a powerhouse of energy and fun this troupe delivered! No recording can compare to a real concert, but I hope this suggests something.
- “Leader of the Band” by Dan Fogelberg. This isn’t rock at all, but I’ve included it to remind you that songs with sweet melodies and good lyrics are still making the Top 10. OK, I’ve really included it because it’s a loving tribute to a father whose passion for music inspired his son’s musical career. Despite the distances between you and me, your music-centered life can take full credit for inspiring mine. Every time I listen to this song, though, I struggle with the lyrics that ring true for me versus the lyrics that just can’t. If, as the song says, “I don’t think I’ve said I love you near enough,” we both know the reasons why. But if there’s anything that will get us closer, it will be your sincere openness to hear what I hear in rock music.
You might be happy to know that rock music is becoming quaint and old-fashioned. Today’s kids are once again turning the mainstream upside down and listening to hip-hop more than rock. Baby Boomers are now yelling just like you did: That’s not music, that’s noise! Ever thus.
But here’s something you should know: Your grandson Russ once left his homemade cassettes in my car, and I popped one into the player to find out what he listens to as he triples my auto insurance. Much of it was today’s music: Dave Matthews, Blues Traveler, Phish. Some of it was stuff from my own youth: Pink Floyd, Yes, Eric Clapton. (Do you know these names at all?)
But then I heard drums with a muffled sound and I thought maybe the tape alignment was drifting. No, it was just a much older recording, from 1938: Benny Goodman’s “Sing Sing Sing” from his famous Carnegie Hall concert. Whaddaya know, Dad? Russ gets it. You still can, too.
The Bible calls music “a joyful noise,” but all you’ve ever heard in rock music is the noise. It’s time to hear the joy.
Happy Father’s Day,
Jay
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