After being killed for pretending it was 2023 all over again, the Bengals are hoping to re-enact some 2023 magic. Jake Browning’s success at the helm while filling in for Joe Burrow that season convinced the team and the fans that the Snake could strike again this time around.
Alas, he no longer was able to surprise anyone this time. Remember, when he first came into the game that dreadful Thursday night two years ago in Baltimore, Browning had never thrown an NFL pass. The Jake 2.0 era came to an ignominious end on Sunday with another trio of dreadful interceptions and overall poor play, despite a late three-touchdown pass rally that prevented a horrific blowout. The Bengals merely lost 37-24 to the Lions, who look poised for another deep run in the NFC.
The Bengals were rightfully booed off the field at halftime, and no one was particularly convinced by Browning’s garbage time barrage. Even the Browns/Blackburns, whose general reaction time is that of a Galapagos tortoise, recognized that the fan base was up in arms and the team couldn’t simply pack it in and wait ’til next year when the (Jewish) calendar barely had flipped to 5786 (or October for you goyim).
So the team did what many were calling for and traded for a new stop-gap quarterback, hoping to salvage something—even a little professional pride—from this season after Burrow limped off following five quarters of football. Welcome, Joe Flacco!
Cincinnati got him from the Browns for essentially nothing (a swap of a fifth rounder for a sixth rounder in next year’s draft), so “desperation” seems like a hyperbolic term for acquiring the 40-year-old, statuesque (accent on “statue”) signal-caller. Flacco also had a great 2023, when he came off the couch to shockingly lead the Browns into the playoffs. He dissolved once there in a flurry of interceptions, and of course we all remember this year’s opener, played a million years ago on September 7, when a pair of Flacco picks (off deflections) allowed the Bengals to escape with a 17-16 victory. Much like Browning, interceptions are very much a part of Flacco’s profile, even when he’s playing well.
Ironically, given Cincinnati’s propensity for bringing in players who have performed well against them, Flacco is one QB the Bengals have had great success in stopping over the years, going back to his halcyon days with the Ravens. He’s thrown 29 picks to Bengals defenses over the years, far more than any other opponent, to 22 TDs and holds just a 9-13 record all-time vs Cincinnati. By contrast, he is 18-3 against the team that just dealt him, Cleveland, and 11-11 against the Steelers.
Flacco has an even 200 starts in the NFL, which is valuable even if it’s ancient history. Unlike Browning, he at least has some muscle memory when it comes to winning ballgames, and unlike Russell Wilson, an oft-mentioned trade target, Flacco isn’t completely incompetent. Plus he measures in at 6-foot-6 and 245 pounds, a moose compared to Wilson’s Bambi. That is vital, as his mobility is non-existent and Cincinnati’s offensive line porous.
Another asset is that Flacco’s experience should allow him to start right away, with his first game a nice easy toe dip into the ocean. Just kidding. It’s a trip to Lambeau Field to visit the Packers, a road trip many Bengals fans planned on making when the schedule was announced and no doubt were abandoning in droves before the trade. At least Flacco’s presence makes the schlep to rural Wisconsin seem semi-worthwhile—remember, he and the Browns beat the Packers just a couple of weeks ago.
(In fact, I’m disappointed Cincinnati didn’t bring in Flacco last week, if only so he could play GB/DET/DET/GB in four straight palindromic games.)
Fortunately, I suppose, the Bengals offense isn’t an incredibly complex bit of Swiss timing. As we’ve noted for years, the basic thrust of Zac Taylor’s attack is “ours are better than yours, here’s proof.” Obviously, with Browning in there, that was no longer remotely true. Flacco is only a modest improvement, but simply due to his experience and better accuracy, especially on deep balls, he feels like a better fit as emergency fill-ins go.
A careful look at the last three weeks shows that even halfway-decent QB play would have kept Cincinnati in the games, if not made them winnable. Browning was not only inaccurate and staring down receivers but wasn’t throwing to open targets, checking into bad plays, misreading defenses, holding the ball too long, and generally playing like the undrafted non-talent he is (the hot streak in 2003 notwithstanding).
Flacco is hardly a vast improvement, but he is less likely to be fooled, won’t miss easy throws when they present themselves, and will at least give Ja’Marr Chase and Tee Higgins a chance when he throws deep. He wasn’t doing much in Cleveland, certainly, but then again the offensive cast around him was pretty grim as well. His largely forgotten half-season in Indy in 2024 may be more representative. He played eight games in place of Anthony Richardson and was pretty good, averaging 7 yards per attempt on an injury-ravaged team. As long as Flacco avoids turnovers, an awfully big ask given his history, he should at least give the Bengals a chance at moving the ball and sustaining drives.
Still, he’s hardly a panacea. The team remains utterly weak in the trenches and unable to get the defensive stops they managed to find in the first two weeks. It’s quite disheartening to see Cincinnati lack the violent intensity and athleticism required to play football at this level. Granted, Shemar Stewart, drafted to bring those very attributes to the team, has missed all three losses to an ankle injury (and he’s questionable for Sunday). Still, thus far DC Al Golden has changed precious little from the sieve of 2024. Indeed, the Bengals rank 30th in DVOA, worse than last year, albeit in a small sample.
One thing that remains a bugaboo are the missed tackles. Cincinnati yet again leads the NFL in this dubious stat, tied with the winless Jets per Pro Football Reference. The sacks and pressure percentage remain elusive beyond Trey Hendrickson. Again, it’s difficult to truly gauge a defense when the offense is so putrid. But after the Bengals closed to 28-17 early in the fourth quarter on Sunday to provide a faint glimmer, the defense allowed Detroit to whip 68 yards down the field for a putaway TD without even forcing a third down.
The “Greatest Team Ever” talk around the Packers has cooled after a mystifying loss in Cleveland and the wacky 40-40 tie in Dallas. But off a bye week and back in the friendly confines of Green Bay, Micah Parsons & Co. will be rarin’ to reassert themselves. With no running game, a brand new fossil at QB, a poor line, and a flimsy defense, the Bengals don’t figure to provide much of a challenge to the Pack.
These two teams have some wacky games in their history together. There was the Favre Debut at our expense, of course. The Kicking Meltdown from 2021, the last time they met. The Terence Newman Fumble Return. And of course, the Fan Snatch Game of 2005.
Perhaps the closest analogue came in 2017. The Bengals were 0-2 and lifeless when they went to Green Bay. There were calls for Andy Dalton to be benched in favor of A.J. McCarron. Cincinnati was a touchdown underdog, and few gave them any chance. But they led 21-7 at halftime, thanks in part to an ultra-rare pick-six thrown by Aaron Rodgers to William Jackson (remember him?). Of course, Green Bay scored with 17 seconds left to force overtime and won it in the fifth quarter.
The Bengals are 14-point underdogs on Sunday, so remaining competitive will be twice as unlikely as 2017. Still, at least Flacco gives them a scintilla of hope. Cincinnati might not receive anything like the Mile High Miracle from deep in the Flacco Files, but simply being in the ballgame late would make for a nice change after the dreck of the last few weeks.
Robert Weintraub heads up Bengals coverage for Cincinnati Magazine and has written for The New York Times, Grantland, Slate, and Deadspin. He guests on Mo Egger’s radio show every Thursday in the 4 p.m. hour. Follow him on X at @robwein.
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