It may say “Country Inn” out front, but it’s better known as Red’s Kitchen. And the waitresses wear T-shirts to prove it. You’ll find it on Monmouth Street, right across from the gun shop owned by the County Commissioner, or so I was told at Red’s. There’s a good chance you’ll be told all the dirt at Red’s, even if you’re not particularly keen on hearing it. Everybody was wearing a ballcap. Even the infants. And none said Cincinnati Reds. I tried to take mine off, but was asked to put it back on. Everybody was smoking, too. Even the infants. (OK, maybe not the infants.) I felt a little out of place not smoking. They even asked me to start. But I just kept my head low and mouth full of biscuits and gravy. Figured I’d keep out of trouble just listening to the talk about everybody else. Red’s is good eating. They’ve got a short menu, but it’s packed with irresistible fare, like the rib eye sandwich or the 14-ounce T-bone. You can also get a stack of fluffy pancakes, a Western omelette, or an eight-ounce Country burger (so-called because it’s big). The biscuits and gravy are pretty much what they’d serve in the Garden of Eden. (Well, if the Garden of Eden had a fry cook and allowed smoking.) But don’t get the chef’s salad. There’s no chef, so they’ll talk about your odd choice of lunch. They’ll probably talk about you when you leave anyway, because you’re the topic of conversation here when you’re not here. They’re probably talking about you right now! Better get over there before the biscuits and gravy are gone.
819 Monmouth St., Newport
Breakfast, lunch, and dinner Mon–Sat, breakfast and lunch Sun
Originally published in the June 2012 issue.