Photograph by Anna Vianello Photography
The glamorous socialite life promised by 13 Going on 30 and its rom-com ilk materializes differently in womanhood: vicarious escapism and a thing of TV showbiz. Drinks after the 9-to-5, a bustling social calendar that never wanes, that effortless cosmopolitan air. Yet, demanding adulthood offers its coffers: kids, work, the exhausting and hollow pendulum of “We should catch up!” and an effort to reach out dwindling with each Friday. Women are left to wonder, “Is this it?”
Thousands of testimonials spanning Indianapolis to Cincinnati say otherwise—forming genuine connection is no longer a question of whether, but when.
Women across Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky are welcoming the recent bloom of BFF Cincy, an affiliate of its Indianapolis-based sister, BFF Indy, as the organization takes root in local soil.
The citywide network fosters authentic female friendship through weekly walks, monthly book clubs, happy hours, pilates, and “speed-friending.” Now, it is expanding beyond the 80,000 women BFF Indy has reached across its platforms and into Cincinnati territory—and the women are hungry for it.
Before BFF Cincy’s launch mixer hit the ground September 15, locals hit the ground first—and they hit the ground running. After all platforms went live in early August, a thrill buzzed through the city’s computer cursors as Facebook discussion posts began pinging, spontaneous outings began forming, and friendships began budding. In little more than a month, BFF Cincy has reached 7,000 women across all platforms and acquired more than 100 people on the waitlist for its launch—though the gatherings don’t stop when the RSVP fills.
Stephanie Reed, a Cincinnatian who jumped on the bandwagon during the early August debut, celebrated her overall experience on BFF Cincy’s Facebook, dubbing it a “BFF Cincinnati success story” (already!). Though she couldn’t snag a ticket to the launch event at Somerset Bar, Reed’s own risk to put herself out there began a friendship BFF Cincy continues to cultivate.
After posting a brief bio on the Facebook page, Reed’s connection with like-minded people led her to a woman whose support through a difficult career change after 20 years in apartment management proved invaluable.
“This is pretty powerful,” says Reed. “We need people to walk alongside us in life.”
Photograph by Anna Vianello Photography
BFF Cincy welcomes all women, ages 20 to 75+, this fall for possible pumpkin patches, corn mazes, and autumnal festivities. The organization plans to establish the events that drew consistent turnout in Indianapolis through partnership with local organizations. Others have pitched Facebook threads ranging from festival dates to Dungeons & Dragons gatherings, slam poetry to pottery wheel-throwing—signaling there is no niche unexplored.
“That’s the beauty of it,” says Reed, describing a sing-along brunch experience with strangers that formed spontaneous, serendipitous bonds. “You can make it into whatever you want it to be.”
BFF Cincy was born across state lines, beginning with a question founder Frances Mary Loughead asked herself when her husband traveled for several weeks: “Where do I find girlfriends?”
“I was just a girl who was lonely, looking for friends, but it turns out a lot of other women were in the same shoes,” says Loughead.
What shoes BFF Cincy would fill, however, led Loughead to investigate what makes Cincinnatians tick. After sending a survey to the group, she resolved to “go with the flow and read the community’s needs,” as “Cincinnati is not Indianapolis, and Indianapolis is not Cincinnati.”
In further displays of female solidarity, the organization has supported the IWIN Foundation, which provides financial and emotional support for women undergoing breast cancer treatment. Now, through its partnership with Mom Walk Collective, a network of more than 650 city walks, BFF Cincy brings communities together at Mom Walk Mason—mothers, women, and children alike.
While it takes a village to raise one child; it likewise takes a village to raise a community. Thus, there’s no membership fee to join BFF Cincy; all that is needed is an RSVP and a desire to find girlfriends.
“The men need something too, but women just go through so many different stages and phases of life,” says Loughead, detailing conversational cornerstones—such as health, hormones, and child-rearing—unique to women that begin with acknowledging, “I don’t want to feel alone in this.” BFF Cincy’s reach across youth, pregnancy, retirement, marriage, singleness, and divorce reflects that it is not a matter of want, but need.
If 13 Going on 30 promised womanhood to be 30, flirty, and thriving, perhaps the answer to the question, “Is this it?” should not be measured by socialite grandeur, but rather by playfulness, whimsy, and genuine camaraderie that walks alongside us through it all.
To follow the thread, tune into BFF Cincy on Facebook and Instagram for details on upcoming events. Want to get more involved? Apply to be an ambassador, or visit its website for information on local small-business partnerships.
