You Can Never Unsee This Monstrous Sandwich

The WTF Burger. Their words.
The WTF Burger. Their words.

Photograph by Wes Battoclette

Every restaurant specializes in something. At Sunnyside Grill, it’s coronaries. This place has only been around for 11 years—which is nothing in primo classic dive years—but it’s a favorite hangout for EMTs waiting for arteriosclerosis to peak in the next booth over. Your LDL will skyrocket just listening to the waitress run through the specials, so I’ll stick to the menu. The Lancer (named after La Salle’s mascot) is an eight-ounce burger. With bacon. Between two grilled cheese sandwiches.

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Photograph by Wes Battoclette

Need a Tagamet just to digest that thought? I thought so. For more conventional fare, go for the Big Johnny. That’s two eight-ounce Angus burgers with bacon, cheddar, and mayo. There’s probably some lettuce on there somewhere. Might be the best burger in town, as it’s certainly the biggest. And make sure you get the kuh-rispy waffle fries with that and hefty dose of the planet’s creamiest coleslaw. Feeling like you gained 20 pounds already? Well, there’s one last thing I must mention, because it is the house specialty, and that’s the Old Man’s Diaper. Yes, you read that right. Imagine a bed of French and waffle fries, layered with chicken strips, jalapeños, bacon, fried hot dogs, ground beef, chili, and cheese, then topped with a generous layer of Ranch dressing.

Look away, it's the Old Man's Diaper
Look away, it’s the Old Man’s Diaper

Photograph by Wes Battoclette

Your cardiologist has his head in his hands right about now. But there is a silver lining: Sunnyside’s desserts aren’t made in house, giving you a more-than-acceptable excuse to pass on the pie.

The Sunnyside Grill, 7995 Wesselman Rd., Cleves, (513) 353-5999, Breakfast and lunch seven days, dinner Tues–Fri.

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