My girlfriend’s taste in movies is not particularly normal. She can’t stand movies that end up in a happy ending. Take Love Actually, for example. (It is the holiday season, after all.) She can’t stand it because of it’s absurd implausibility and how, for the most part, everyone ends up pretty happy. (Except the marriage that is sort of ruined, the guy who has his secret love squashed, etc.) Point is, there are far too many happy endings in that movie for her taste. In her viewpoint, the more realistic turn would be for people to not get what they hoped and dreamed for but rather end up disappointed while continuing to live their lives. She is not a sports fan, but I have to think if she was, she would find some strange amount of enjoyment in the story of the 2015 Cincinnati Bengals.
In the most Bengalsy thing to ever Bengal, Andy Dalton, in the middle of his best professional season, breaks his thumb after every so gently brushing Stephon Tuitt’s knee/thigh. Insert A.J. McCarron and his double half-sleeve-tattooed arms. Under admittedly adverse conditions, McCarron threw two picks and the Bengals postseason dreams and hopes came crashing down to earth. It’s a stark reality that next year the Bengals shadow will be once again their lack of postseason success, caveats be damned. In this week’s episode of Fulcher 2 Stay, we talk about the impact of Crazy Ass Vontaze Burfict, the bad blood between the teams, and the impact of Dalton’s injury (you know, between Justin’s sobs). Feeling melancholy? Send your sad poems and acoustical ballad to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Adam Flango and Justin Williams are associate editors for Cincinnati Magazine. Adam stands by the cinematic merit of Love Actually. Justin probably doesn’t. They can be found on Twitter at @adam_flango and @williams_justin.