If you were horrified because you couldn’t find the Week 2 Power Rankings on the Cincinnati Magazine Bengals Blog last week, fear not. (And I did actually get one email, so screw you, everyone who laughed at the first sentence.) As you can likely tell by the current interface on (in?) which you’re reading this, we have a new website. If you’re reading this on a phone or a tablet or a phablet or a Google Glass or an iWatch or something like that, then you likely DEFINITELY noticed the new site, since you don’t have to constantly pinch-zoom and try to click on miniscule links and all that annoying crap. Anyway, the migration to and launch of the new site did force us to hit pause on the sports blogs for most of last week, so the Bengals clubbing of the Atlanta Falcons in Week 2 came and went without my witty wisecracks and completely subjective ranking system. I even had a pretty solid joke about Vontaze Burfict and Falcons center Joe Hawley being long-lost brothers, too, so hopefully the new site makes up for missing out on that. Again, if you need a refresher on how the Power Rankings work, I re-explained how I ripped off the idea during preseason. As for Week 3…
“I always tell the receivers I have the best hands on the team.” –Andy Dalton, quarterback wide receiver athlete
The undefeated Bengals spanked the Titans 33-7 on Sunday afternoon. And when you give up only 7 points, remaining undefeated is a much more attainable goal. The Bengals defense leads the NFL in points allowed, giving up only 33 total points over the course of the first three games. Despite Pro Bowl linebacker/maniac Vontaze Burfict sitting out with a concussion, Cincinnati harassed Titans QB Jake Locker, who finished the day 17 of 34 for 185 passing yards, with two interceptions, a QB rating of 41.9, and a PFF grade of -7.2. The Titans only score of the game came with six minutes left in the fourth quarter, at which point the majority of the Bengals roster was day-dreaming about how many post-game cheese coneys they planned to inhale.
2. QB Mohamed Sanu / WR Andy Dalton
Our thoughts and prayers are with Titans corner Blidi Wreh-Wilson, who for the rest of his life will have to live with the fact that he got embarrassed by a pass-catching Andy Dalton.
3. The Offensive Line
STILL zero sacks allowed on the season by the big dudes upfront, all of whom earned positive overall grades from PFF (a collective +9.8; +12.2 if you include Jermaine Gresham…yes, really).
If your backups are playing in the fourth quarter, it either means things went really well or really bad. For the Bengals on Sunday, it was the former. Backup QB Jason Campbell looked pretty solid on his handoffs, by the way.
5. Bye Week
I’m usually not a big fan of the early bye week, but a few extra days to get players healthy and prepare for a primetime matchup against Tom Brady isn’t a bad thing. It should give the offense time to implement a few more plays with Dalton at wideout. Dude is dangerous when you get him in space.
Honorable Mention: Vontaze Burfict’s sunglasses, Darqueze Dennard’s sack, Margus Hunt, Rey Maualuga still missing tackles, Devon Still.
Our Weekly Look at Andy Dalton vs The Blitz
On 13 snaps against the blitz, he completed 9 of 13 pass attempts (69.2%) for 132 yards (10.2 ypa), 0 TDs, 0 INTs, a QB rating of 102.1 and a PFF grade of +1.5. Those are almost Mo-Sanu-esque numbers.
The Weekly Madden GIFerator creation
Stat of Note
The Titans were 2-for-12 on third down (16.6%). For the season, opponents are 13-41 (31.7%).