I did what I could: Wore the lucky outfit, watched from the lucky seat on the couch. Nada. The Bengals still crashed out on Monday Night Football, losing in embarrassing fashion to the Washington Commanders, 38-33, a score that frankly flattered Cincinnati.
All my superstitions have (unsurprisingly) not helped matters. I even went to the tried and true “not watching” technique, which helped spur our Super Bowl run. I flipped over to Goodfellas for large chunks of this debacle, but it didn’t work, and I felt like a clown here to amuse you after it failed. As we all know, that loss leaves Cincinnati at 0-3, with odds of making the postseason even more dire than the Deshaun Watson contract.
Washington QB Jayden Daniels, the game’s “other” Heisman Trophy winner from LSU, stole Joe Burrow’s thunder with a performance for the ages. He threw for a pair of scores, ran for another, amassed nearly 300 yards of offense, and turned the Cincy D that had mostly held down Pat Mahomes the week before into mush over and over.
By the time Daniels stood tall in the pocket against a zero blitz and calmly zinged a javelin missile to Terry McLaurin for the game-icing score with 2:10 to play, just before Geno Stone plastered him, we were all Troy Aikman, red-faced with frustration. Daniels set a rookie record with his 91 percent completion percentage (21-23), led his team to points on every drive, and declared himself the NFL’s next superstar while Caleb Williams struggles in Chi-town.
As I mentioned in last week’s column when I expressed fear about playing Daniels and this offense, the game was eerily similar to the 2012 battle with then-Washington rookie Robert Griffin III. Except Daniels was even better than RG3 was in that Bengals win, showing unusual poise and confidence for a rookie. No amount of trickery or disguises or blitzes from Lou Anarumo’s defense threw Daniels off his game. Even more than the RG3 game, this was reminiscent of last year’s meeting with Houston, when a different rookie QB, C.J. Stroud, shredded the Bengals for 356 yards in a stunning last-second victory.
Daniels was even better in this game, though of course the lack of resistance by the Bengals helped his cause. Cincinnati has a long, sad history of allowing rookie and backup QBs who have little success afterward to achieve career days against them. This wasn’t that—Daniels is clearly an outstanding player, and the rest of the Commanders offense is lifted by his electric potency.
The Commanders didn’t punt against the Bengals, scoring touchdowns on five of six drives and kicking a field goal on the other (not counting the kneel away of the last 20 seconds of the first half, which in retrospect they shouldn’t have done, since they probably could have scored then too). But then Washington didn’t have to punt the week before against the Giants either. Somehow, N.Y. kept the Burgundy and Gold out of the end zone on seven straight trips, but Cincinnati was unable to do the same.
Overall, the defense was … atrocious? Abominable? Execrable? Consult your thesaurus for your particular favorite term; they all apply.
The pass rush, which I’ve repeatedly highlighted as being a solo act performed by Trey Hendrickson, was nonexistent. Even he struggled to get near Daniels consistently. The lack of bulk inside, in large part due to injury, hurt. The secondary was repeatedly hit with the chunk plays they were tasked to avoid this season. It all resembled a seven-on-seven drill in preseason, the only difference being Daniels wore a white jersey instead of the red one that denotes a player deemed not to be touched. Cincinnati apparently didn’t get the memo that they were allowed to hit Daniels.
Dare I say that without his star safety, Jessie Bates, in command at the rear of his defense, Anarumo and the Bengals D as a unit has been found lacking? Certainly the defense had bad days even with Bates around, but there sure seems to be cause and effect at work. We can bat around the franchise’s hard line on paying a star player they drafted and developed until St. Swiven’s Day, but in this case it’s looking like a mistake.
It’s perhaps unfair to ask safety Geno Stone to immediately play that well in a new system or Vonn Bell to recapture his 2020-22 form. But how about using Jordan Battle some? He was one of the few bright spots on last season’s defense but has been chucked aside so far in 2024. More to the point, the Bengals have, as mentioned often in this space, used tons of high draft capital (including Battle) over the last three years in an effort to create a young, fast, cheap defense that can match what Kansas City has done. There have been flashes, but it sure ain’t there yet, and the kids need to step things up before the season is officially over before Halloween.
There were some bright spots Monday night. Burrow to Ja’Marr Chase, of course. Uno looked so relieved not to have been dealt for Penei Sewell that he ran roughshod over the Commanders secondary for 188 yards and two scores, in his first “Chase-like” performance of the season. Rookie tight end Erick All continues to impress. Indeed, the whole offense looked sharp—the Bengals weren’t forced to punt, either, while averaging more than seven yards per play. As for the rookies, D-tackle Kris Jenkins looked stout in limited action against the run in his first NFL game, despite playing with a club hand to protect his broken thumb that made him look like an ankylosaurus. And Amarius Mims made a strong debut at right tackle. The long-awaited day when we can look at the O-line as an actual strength rather than just hoping for adequacy may well have finally arrived. Washington’s defense is putrid, but they seldom sniffed the QB. Really, the shame of the game wasn’t even allowing 38 points as it was scoring just 33. Those first half drives that fell short came back to haunt, as did Evan McPherson’s missed field goal.
Mims needs to be good and, more importantly, healthy, as the inevitable injury to Trent Brown has already arrived. He’s out for the season with a patellar tendon injury after just two games and change. The Bengals knew this was a likely result when they signed the oft-injured free agent gargantua in the offseason, and Mims will be fine so long as he remains upright. But now the much-talked-about depth at tackle is stretched thin.
Starting the season 0-3 is one thing; losing to two supposed doormats is another. If 4-and-16 never happens in K.C., of course, we’d be feeling differently right now, but winning teams are supposed to find ways to, uh, win. I hate to keep bringing it back to the Chiefs, but Kansas City has seldom looked very good over the past 24 games (counting last year’s playoffs) and yet here they are coming off another Super Bowl and now 3-0. They’ve won games by 7, 1, and 5 points. The Bengals have lost games by 6, 1, and 5 points. K.C. won on the road in prime time during another team’s Ring of Honor ceremony. Cincinnati lost at home in prime time during our Ring of Honor ceremony. (They sure could have used Tim Krumrie out there at defensive tackle.)
Still, I remain optimistic. The offense has yet to fully click but ranks fifth in DVOA and is clearly capable of scoring with anyone. Even at 0-3, Cincinnati remains just a game behind the Browns and Ravens in the AFC North, and we all know 3-0 Pittsburgh will fall back to Earth. No one is really all that good so far. Only five NFL teams are unbeaten, and only two of them (Buffalo and Minnesota, neither of which plays Cincinnati) have a point differential above 30-plus.
Of course, no one is really that bad either, and that includes the Carolina Panthers, with whom the Bengals tangle in Charlotte on Sunday. Old pal Andy Dalton showed the good people of that supposed Queen City what quarterback play is supposed to look like in routing the Raiders last Sunday. This won’t be a “revenge game”—as I’ve often noted, why would Dalton seek vengeance on a team that stuck with him for several years too long? But what once appeared a walkover (as the Pats and Commanders games did) ain’t so easy no more. And the remnants of Hurricane Helene are likely to muddy the track on Sunday down south, blunting Cincinnati’s high-flying attack.
I hesitate to use the phrase “must-win.” As Marv Levy once said, World War II was must-win, not a football game, even when you’re 0-3. But of course, to avoid an all-time pratfall of a season, we need the W on Sunday in the worst way.
Otherwise, the private meeting between Burrow and Zac Taylor will be longer this time, and more fraught.
Robert Weintraub heads up Bengals coverage for Cincinnati Magazine and has written for The New York Times, Grantland, Slate, and Deadspin. Follow him on Twitter at @robwein. Listen to him on Mo Egger’s show on 1530AM every Thursday at 5:20 p.m.
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