Illustration by Luci Guitierrez
THE ROLE
To determine the condition of a house and convey that information in a report so that buyer and agent have a full understanding of its state. May be licensed (Kentucky requires it; Ohio doesn’t) and/or hold a certificate to demonstrate that they know their way around crumbling mortar, creaking floorboards, and faulty wiring. Scours the house from rafters to rec room, flushing toilets and poking at chimney flashing, assessing mechanicals, HVAC, plumbing, electricity, and structural components. Presents a “condition report” that explains the state of things in terms so simple that even a Home Depot virgin will understand what he or she is getting into.
SPECIAL SKILLS
Ability to articulate the difference between major problems and routine maintenance issues in such a fashion that a buyer doesn’t freak out over a clogged gutter or ignore the significance of a sagging roof.
PET PEEVES
Aggressive, unsecured pets—we’re talking about you, Goliath—that didn’t get the memo about the scheduled inspection.
NOTABLE QUOTES
“Yes, I have seen houses in worse shape.”
Who else do you meet in the real estate market? The Agent, The Seller, The Buyer, The Mortgage Lender
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